Isaiah 11

I've been playing outside ever since forever

I'm pretty good at it

And my mommy always says

"Don't go near that snake hole"

And I didn't.  I never did.

But then 

My Daddy said that ever since the stump of Jesse 

Got a new branch on it,

It means little boys can play over there,

By the snake hole.

So I did it.  I did it yesterday.

I'm pretty good at it.

Mr. Cobra and I are pretty much best buddies now.

He's a really good hugger.

We played tickle fight

And mustache

And he shared some of my ice cream cone.

I'm pretty glad about that stump branch.

Isaiah 11

Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously

I am taking a Linguistics class this semester and we were talking about syntactic clues in Language.  We were given a sentence and asked what we could determine about it.  I loved the sentence.  Supposedly it is meaningless but I found it profound; poetic even.  It inspired the following.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously

In empty beds beneath the calmly florescent gazebo

Dreaming themselves blue faceless smiles

Mindless thinkers swimmingly still

Dawn quickly awaits.

I am no musician

I am no musician

shouts a man into the night

angry as a trash can

filled by firelight

Stalin is his comrade

rhetoric his kite

lofty in the heavens

pandering and bright

I am no musician

crones a beatnik from the stage

empty like a row boat

leaky with old age

wisdom is his mentor

Solomon his sage

poisoning the future

from his current cage

I am no musician

pines a hero of the past

pretty as a widow

from a lowly caste

Gandhi is her savior

loneliness her fast

tying up her mourning

to a slave ship's mast

Let the Peace of Christ Rule in Your Hearts

It is a Tuesday in my heart
Early November in an even year
And Peace is running
Like a river more than a candidate
Dripping with potential
He’s damned upstream but ready to be let.

It is Evening in my heart
On the West Coast polls just closed
And Peace is losing
Like a sunset more than a boxer
The darkness is imminent
His fiery shafts stretch as the purple pushes.

Democracy fails in my heart.
Fear of corruption grips the populace
And Peace is missing
Like a rainbow’s end more than a runaway
Ethereal and distant
He’ll return one day with Revolution

Reformation, I say

I am all for Tort Reform

Those Bastards

All their unbridled torting

It is time, I say, for a reformation

Martin Luther (not the King) style

Can a cowboy get a 95 theses up in here?

And also Land Reform

I am all for that

(If one can be all for more than one thing)

Those Fascist Hippies

It is time for a reformation of the land, I say

Can a bus driver get his 40 acres and a mule?

Oh and Health Care Reform

That, I am all for

Those Greedy Dentists

I say socialize my medicine

Like a homeschooled girl at a reformation picnic

Can a doorman get a vaccination?

And also, Immigration Reform

All that, I am for

Those Apple Pie Haters

Ship them out, says I, reformation style

Castrate and excommunicate

Can a Calvinist get a green card neighbor?

Likewise with, Campaign Finance Reform

For that, am I, all

Those Scientists

Close the books and throw away the key

Into the depths of reformation hell, I say, I say

Can a cobbler get a corruption charge?

Finally, Welfare Reform

Am, for, that, all, I

Those Crocodile Sweaters

Take it all back and reform her

I say, row by row, I say, color coded, I say

Can a preacher get a reformation up in this piece?

Ridicualistic

F___ realistic

I'm Ridicualistic

Pragmatic as a mystic

I'm Ridicualisitic

Like Manna's logistics

I'm Ridicualistic

Abrahamicly eccentric

I'm Ridicualisitc

Paradox is intrinsic

To Ridicualisitic

It's not about riches

It's Ridicualistic

Take privlege and risk it

You're Ridicualistic

Beyond Ritualistic

Get Ridicualistic

Spiritually artistic

Is Ridicualistic

Sillytheistic

So Ridicualisitc

Complexly simplistic

God's Ridicualistic?

(This is a sort of rap done by 13illy which is my rapping name inspired by church yesterday) 

Poetry Gig Monday Night 9pm 18th and Oak

Howdy Hey its time for more shameless self promotion

Come out and see me do some Silly Spoken Word tomorrow night at a new venue.  It's free fun times and what else were you going to do on a Monday?

Where:  scionLab @ 18th and Oak behind Grinders

When: 9pm Monday July 6th

What:   Stress Free Monday's - Poetry Night

Cost : FREE!!!! (5 bones for a bottomless cup)

I'll be doing twenty minutes of silliness so bring your friends.

Karl Marx and Adam Smith at a Carnival

Karl Marx wears linen pants

Adam Smith wears a sash

Both men wear moccasins

Because everyone likes moccasins

Karl Marx eats cotton candy

Adam Smith eats a candied apple on a stick

They share a funnel cake

Because everyone loves  funnel cake

Karl Marx rides the carousel

Adam Smith rides the roller coaster

They both giggle as they rock their cart on the Ferris Wheel

Because everyone loves the Ferris Wheel

Karl Marx pays to kiss the bearded lady

Adam Smith pays to arm wrestle the strong man

They both sneak into the Siamese twin exhibit

Because everyone knows Siamese twins are just two liars taped together

Karl Marx plays Duck Pond 

Adam Smith tries to knock down bottles

They both want to win the giant stuffed Panda

Because everyone wants a giant stuffed Panda

Karl Marx picks the wrong duck

Adam Smith misses all three bottles

They both lose

Because everyone loses at carnival games

Karl Marx uses the Johnny-On-The-Spot

Adam Smith vomits on a pigeon

Both men smile

Because everyone loves the carnival

The Monk and the Mathematician

INT. DARK ROOM 

Two pail faced men sit nose to nose

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen?

MONK

He is Risen Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

No. Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

There is a difference?

MONK

In general.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

Yes, in fact. In this particular instance there is indeed difference. With regard to the particular nature of my prior claim, the answer is no in fact not. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Why not in fact?

MONK

In general “Indeed” is in fact similar to “In fact” but this instance is unique. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Insane?

MONK

One could argue that.

MATHEMATICIAN

Inane? Ingenious?

MONK

Those points as well could be made . . . Is that your argument then?

MATHEMATICIAN

No arguments just questions.

MONK

Impossible.  They're inseparable.

MATHEMATICIAN

In Him all things are possible.

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

Indirectly, we'll say. Can we return to the question of insanity?

MATHEMATICIAN

Very well. He is Risen Insane?

MONK

Arguably.

MATHEMATICIAN

You agree then. The point is conceded.

MONK

Now you are being incorrigible.  I concede nothing. Nor do I argue a point. I’m in between. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Are you indifferent? That is insane indeed.

MONK

Facts are insane.

MATHEMATICIAN

Very well. He is Risen Engrave.

MONK

Incoherent is not insanity.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen Indianapolis. 

MONK

He is Risen inconclusive.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen indubitably. 

MONK.

He is Risen internal.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen Inconsequently.

MONK.

False.

MATHEMATICIAN 

One could say the same of your claim.

MONK

One doesn't.  Unless you are the one claiming such.

MATHEMATICIAN

Indeed I am.

MONK

In fact?

MATHEMATICIAN

As a matter of fact I am indeed.

Both men stand

MONK

Outrageous!

MATHEMATICIAN

Out of the mouth of babes!

MONK

Out of control!!

MATHEMATICIAN

One king’s outhouse is another man’s throne!!

MONK 

Out Out damned spot!!

MATHEMATICIAN

Out where???

MONK

Out of this world!!!!

MATHEMATICIAN

Shall we take this outside then?

MONK

No. In. We must remain inside.

MATHEMATICIAN

Oh.

Both men sit in silence.

MONK 

I owe you an apology.

MATHEMATICIAN

I accept and reciprocate.

MONK

Indeed. He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

That seems to be in question.

MONK

In fact it is. Indeed it is not.

MATHEMATICIAN

I see. I’m blind?

MONK

I know. I once was.

MATHEMATICIAN

I can’t see?

MONK

Neither could I once.  And still things blur.

MATHEMATICIAN

Should we find the light?

MONK

He is Risen Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

But not in fact.

MONK

The facts are indecipherable.

MATHEMATICIAN

The facts are all we have. 

MONK

We have no such thing. I once was nothing but He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

Where does that leave us? In? Out?

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

Inside out?

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In spite of myself., I crave that blur. All things must be possible, as they say.  Within?

MONK

He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Ris-in Indeed?

Blackout.

Check out some sweet art this Friday at the Walnut Gallery @ 18th and Walnut.

There will be an eclectic mix of mediums including photography, sculpture, painting and a custom built motorcycle.

I'll be performing a piece of silliness that I conceived for my friend Andrea Brummett's Gallery called The Diction Canary from 6-9, so if your are down there check us out. Bring your favorite words and tongue twisters and have the Diction Canary orate them.

Here is the back-story blurb:

The Diction Canary is a rare bird from the Amazon jungle that was captured by a British-explorer-orator-philosopher-linguist married couple. Having a natural affinity for ridiculous sounds he quickly picked up their cockney accent. He participated alongside the family in their favorite pastime, word puppetry.

Word Pup•pet•ry n : The act of word manipulation and oral definition

The bird made words dance like marionettes attached to a giant canary. Ask him to speak any tongue-twister or define any English word from his exhaustive Merriam-Webster’s and he will floor you with his phraseology and astound you with his articulate elocution.

Poison is Static

Poison is static
The sin tense elastic
Cast often to space

Resound explosive
A lonely emotive
Lied wither enlace

Implied explicit
Reason illicit
Dangerous erase

Re: dreamer is broke in
Mean Inc. less poke in
Life may not outpace

Ridden of goodness
Weed beet if we could this
Unborn just encase

Wisdom redundant
Putrid as judgment
Vision air retrace

Risen redacted
Spoken didactic
Hue minced must embrace

Derelict Insects

Homeless dung beetles
Shifty shitless hippies
Wandering the windswept desert
The empty excrement lacking expanses
Free from all that dung has to offer

Vagrant caterpillars
Conscientious cocoon objectors
Hoofing it; existentially
Never leaving the tree of their birth
At liberty from the falls of flying

Vegetarian Maggots
Anorexic dirt-eating drifters
Appalled at God’s purpose for them
Driven to exile in the sunlight
Unbound by the edge of a carcass

THE FINAL KLANGS SHOW

Friday May 2nd

7:00 p.m.

8 bucks

Crosstown Station

w/ the Khrusty Brothers

This is your last time to see me dance fighting in a unitard!!!

There is also a secret special effects masterpiece in the works that you will not want to miss.

So if there is one thing I hate it is poor city planning. This is the worst example of excess, and suburban sameness that I have seen in a long, long time. Just off I-35 south of Kansas City in the suburb of Merriam, KS there is an abandoned strip mall. It makes me kind of sad.

Just before the economy went to hell, Merriam decided it didn't have enough ugly, land wasting, consumption inducing, retail space. This new waste of space is right across the street from another enormous collection of generic buildings in a straight line with excessive parking. That project was built on land that was obtained 7 years ago through the evil government practice of perverting Eminent Domain to create strip malls.



At first, I assumed this project was also stolen from the people for the benefit of corporations. As it turns out, this time Merriam paid home owners full (pre-housing bubble) price, before they converted their homes into parking lots. 

Don't worry about Corporate America though, they won't be paying taxes for this TIF land for a long, long time.



The way I understand it TIF areas should be blighted. You tell me what is more of a blight, a neighborhood full of 1940's ranch style houses and a used car dealership, or a barren landscape surrounded by a useless wall begging to be graffitied.

The ironic twist, as you may have deduced, is that Circuit City was set to be the flagship store. But with all of their poor treatment of workers and bankruptcy, they don't really need a Merriam location anymore.

If you live in Kansas City, take a second to drive up there and look at this wasteland. It is eerie. It makes me more sad than anything to see the community betrayed like this. Let this be a cautionary tale to all city planners. Don't build stuff we don't need with tax payer money, anticipating sales tax revenue that may never exist. Or keep doing it, because it seems like not very many people care.

Great Graffiti in Kansas City!!!

Notice this Property is monitored by video surveillance?

Haiku Captions

proud and angular;
reflective, industrial
she reaches toward sky.

I like my friend Drew. He is a photographer that takes pretty sweet photographs all the time. I just put a link to his picture blog. Ignore the ones of weddings or babies and only look at the random shots.

I've been wanting to write poems inspired by his stuff for a while. I decided to do Haiku Captions because I think this form fits his style. Not that he's Asian, because he isn't.


Check out his Flicker

Or if you need pictures of your weddings and babies and random stuff go to his business website Van Horn Visuals

Colbert Talks Poetry

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Elizabeth Alexander

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

I freaking love this man!!!

I read an essay by Bruce Ellis Benson today at one of my favorite sites The Matthew's House Project. The piece is titled How Not to be an Artistic Whore. It is a basic discussion of how one's philosophy of art interacts with faith. I haven't spent much time with this question since college. I used to spend hours fashioning my ideas about myself, my God and my art. I used to be quite opinonated on such ideas as "Christian Art" versus "Art which happened to made by people who are Christians."

I find very little of this semantic nonsense useful in my current life as an educational whore. But these ideas still fascinate me. Benson breaks down a character from Chaim Potok’s novel My Name is Asher Lev. Asher Lev is a Hasidic Jew who a young age shows himself to be a gifted artist. Art is forbidden by his community and is seen as creating false idols. The book is a story of that tension. I put this book on my reading list and look forward to wrestling with these bygone ideas.

Recklessly innocent; He stayed, fearless
Eternity embodied in Immaturity
A boy with business
Pulled into the presence of priesthood
Melchizedek in miniature.

Three days later.
Three worrisome wisdom filled days.
Three timeless tomb-less questioning days after.

Caught in the act of defiant worship
Can a mother reprimand her Savior?
Where else would he be?
Being Human fully at the feet of forever.

Then He obeyed.

I came across a poet that I find totally awesome today while pretentiously reading The New Yorker online. He is perfectly weird: exquisitely eccentric and intelligently silly. And apparently he happens to teach at Columbia College Chicago. If you like it check out 5 more of his poems.

Alien vs. Predator

by Michael Robbins January 12, 2009 issue of The New Yorker

Praise this world, Rilke says, the jerk.
We’d stay up all night. Every angel’s
berserk. Hell, if you slit monkeys
for a living, you’d pray to me, too.
I’m not so forgiving. I’m rubber, you’re glue.

That elk is such a dick. He’s a space tree
making a ski and a little foam chiropractor.
I set the controls, I pioneer
the seeding of the ionosphere.
I translate the Bible into velociraptor.

In front of Best Buy, the Tibetans are released,
but where’s the whale on stilts that we were promised?
I fight the comets, lick the moon,
pave its lonely streets.
The sandhill cranes make brains look easy.

I go by many names: Buju Banton,
Camel Light, the New York Times.
Point being, rickshaws in Scranton.
I have few legs. I sleep on meat.
I’d eat your bra—point being—in a heartbeat.

I freaking love the line "I translate the Bible into velociraptor." Man I wish I could have taken some poetry while I was wasting all that money on a theater degree.

This is the full episode of FOTC Season 2. I love that they put it online!!!

Season 2 Online Premiere - Flight of the Conchords (US Only) - watch more funny videos

This is the greatest show on Television. I'm glad my friend Anni has HBO so I can catch all of the goodness.