Poetry Gig Monday Night 9pm 18th and Oak

Howdy Hey its time for more shameless self promotion

Come out and see me do some Silly Spoken Word tomorrow night at a new venue.  It's free fun times and what else were you going to do on a Monday?

Where:  scionLab @ 18th and Oak behind Grinders

When: 9pm Monday July 6th

What:   Stress Free Monday's - Poetry Night

Cost : FREE!!!! (5 bones for a bottomless cup)

I'll be doing twenty minutes of silliness so bring your friends.

Karl Marx and Adam Smith at a Carnival

Karl Marx wears linen pants

Adam Smith wears a sash

Both men wear moccasins

Because everyone likes moccasins

Karl Marx eats cotton candy

Adam Smith eats a candied apple on a stick

They share a funnel cake

Because everyone loves  funnel cake

Karl Marx rides the carousel

Adam Smith rides the roller coaster

They both giggle as they rock their cart on the Ferris Wheel

Because everyone loves the Ferris Wheel

Karl Marx pays to kiss the bearded lady

Adam Smith pays to arm wrestle the strong man

They both sneak into the Siamese twin exhibit

Because everyone knows Siamese twins are just two liars taped together

Karl Marx plays Duck Pond 

Adam Smith tries to knock down bottles

They both want to win the giant stuffed Panda

Because everyone wants a giant stuffed Panda

Karl Marx picks the wrong duck

Adam Smith misses all three bottles

They both lose

Because everyone loses at carnival games

Karl Marx uses the Johnny-On-The-Spot

Adam Smith vomits on a pigeon

Both men smile

Because everyone loves the carnival

The Monk and the Mathematician

INT. DARK ROOM 

Two pail faced men sit nose to nose

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen?

MONK

He is Risen Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

No. Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

There is a difference?

MONK

In general.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

Yes, in fact. In this particular instance there is indeed difference. With regard to the particular nature of my prior claim, the answer is no in fact not. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Why not in fact?

MONK

In general “Indeed” is in fact similar to “In fact” but this instance is unique. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Insane?

MONK

One could argue that.

MATHEMATICIAN

Inane? Ingenious?

MONK

Those points as well could be made . . . Is that your argument then?

MATHEMATICIAN

No arguments just questions.

MONK

Impossible.  They're inseparable.

MATHEMATICIAN

In Him all things are possible.

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

Indirectly, we'll say. Can we return to the question of insanity?

MATHEMATICIAN

Very well. He is Risen Insane?

MONK

Arguably.

MATHEMATICIAN

You agree then. The point is conceded.

MONK

Now you are being incorrigible.  I concede nothing. Nor do I argue a point. I’m in between. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Are you indifferent? That is insane indeed.

MONK

Facts are insane.

MATHEMATICIAN

Very well. He is Risen Engrave.

MONK

Incoherent is not insanity.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen Indianapolis. 

MONK

He is Risen inconclusive.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen indubitably. 

MONK.

He is Risen internal.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen Inconsequently.

MONK.

False.

MATHEMATICIAN 

One could say the same of your claim.

MONK

One doesn't.  Unless you are the one claiming such.

MATHEMATICIAN

Indeed I am.

MONK

In fact?

MATHEMATICIAN

As a matter of fact I am indeed.

Both men stand

MONK

Outrageous!

MATHEMATICIAN

Out of the mouth of babes!

MONK

Out of control!!

MATHEMATICIAN

One king’s outhouse is another man’s throne!!

MONK 

Out Out damned spot!!

MATHEMATICIAN

Out where???

MONK

Out of this world!!!!

MATHEMATICIAN

Shall we take this outside then?

MONK

No. In. We must remain inside.

MATHEMATICIAN

Oh.

Both men sit in silence.

MONK 

I owe you an apology.

MATHEMATICIAN

I accept and reciprocate.

MONK

Indeed. He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

That seems to be in question.

MONK

In fact it is. Indeed it is not.

MATHEMATICIAN

I see. I’m blind?

MONK

I know. I once was.

MATHEMATICIAN

I can’t see?

MONK

Neither could I once.  And still things blur.

MATHEMATICIAN

Should we find the light?

MONK

He is Risen Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

But not in fact.

MONK

The facts are indecipherable.

MATHEMATICIAN

The facts are all we have. 

MONK

We have no such thing. I once was nothing but He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

Where does that leave us? In? Out?

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

Inside out?

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In spite of myself., I crave that blur. All things must be possible, as they say.  Within?

MONK

He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Ris-in Indeed?

Blackout.

Check out some sweet art this Friday at the Walnut Gallery @ 18th and Walnut.

There will be an eclectic mix of mediums including photography, sculpture, painting and a custom built motorcycle.

I'll be performing a piece of silliness that I conceived for my friend Andrea Brummett's Gallery called The Diction Canary from 6-9, so if your are down there check us out. Bring your favorite words and tongue twisters and have the Diction Canary orate them.

Here is the back-story blurb:

The Diction Canary is a rare bird from the Amazon jungle that was captured by a British-explorer-orator-philosopher-linguist married couple. Having a natural affinity for ridiculous sounds he quickly picked up their cockney accent. He participated alongside the family in their favorite pastime, word puppetry.

Word Pup•pet•ry n : The act of word manipulation and oral definition

The bird made words dance like marionettes attached to a giant canary. Ask him to speak any tongue-twister or define any English word from his exhaustive Merriam-Webster’s and he will floor you with his phraseology and astound you with his articulate elocution.

Poison is static
The sin tense elastic
Cast often to space

Resound explosive
A lonely emotive
Lied wither enlace

Implied explicit
Reason illicit
Dangerous erase

Re: dreamer is broke in
Mean Inc. less poke in
Life may not outpace

Ridden of goodness
Weed beet if we could this
Unborn just encase

Wisdom redundant
Putrid as judgment
Vision air retrace

Risen redacted
Spoken didactic
Hue minced must embrace

Derelict Insects

Homeless dung beetles
Shifty shitless hippies
Wandering the windswept desert
The empty excrement lacking expanses
Free from all that dung has to offer

Vagrant caterpillars
Conscientious cocoon objectors
Hoofing it; existentially
Never leaving the tree of their birth
At liberty from the falls of flying

Vegetarian Maggots
Anorexic dirt-eating drifters
Appalled at God’s purpose for them
Driven to exile in the sunlight
Unbound by the edge of a carcass

THE FINAL KLANGS SHOW

Friday May 2nd

7:00 p.m.

8 bucks

Crosstown Station

w/ the Khrusty Brothers

This is your last time to see me dance fighting in a unitard!!!

There is also a secret special effects masterpiece in the works that you will not want to miss.

So if there is one thing I hate it is poor city planning. This is the worst example of excess, and suburban sameness that I have seen in a long, long time. Just off I-35 south of Kansas City in the suburb of Merriam, KS there is an abandoned strip mall. It makes me kind of sad.

Just before the economy went to hell, Merriam decided it didn't have enough ugly, land wasting, consumption inducing, retail space. This new waste of space is right across the street from another enormous collection of generic buildings in a straight line with excessive parking. That project was built on land that was obtained 7 years ago through the evil government practice of perverting Eminent Domain to create strip malls.



At first, I assumed this project was also stolen from the people for the benefit of corporations. As it turns out, this time Merriam paid home owners full (pre-housing bubble) price, before they converted their homes into parking lots. 

Don't worry about Corporate America though, they won't be paying taxes for this TIF land for a long, long time.



The way I understand it TIF areas should be blighted. You tell me what is more of a blight, a neighborhood full of 1940's ranch style houses and a used car dealership, or a barren landscape surrounded by a useless wall begging to be graffitied.

The ironic twist, as you may have deduced, is that Circuit City was set to be the flagship store. But with all of their poor treatment of workers and bankruptcy, they don't really need a Merriam location anymore.

If you live in Kansas City, take a second to drive up there and look at this wasteland. It is eerie. It makes me more sad than anything to see the community betrayed like this. Let this be a cautionary tale to all city planners. Don't build stuff we don't need with tax payer money, anticipating sales tax revenue that may never exist. Or keep doing it, because it seems like not very many people care.

Great Graffiti in Kansas City!!!

Notice this Property is monitored by video surveillance?

Haiku Captions

proud and angular;
reflective, industrial
she reaches toward sky.

I like my friend Drew. He is a photographer that takes pretty sweet photographs all the time. I just put a link to his picture blog. Ignore the ones of weddings or babies and only look at the random shots.

I've been wanting to write poems inspired by his stuff for a while. I decided to do Haiku Captions because I think this form fits his style. Not that he's Asian, because he isn't.


Check out his Flicker

Or if you need pictures of your weddings and babies and random stuff go to his business website Van Horn Visuals