Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Shopping for a new Jesus

I'm walking the isles at the Jesus store
Looking for a quality product.
Perhaps a fine hand crafted Jesus
Or a powerful and efficient new model.
Something with that new Jesus smell.
Not to flashy though.
I don't want to get my Jesus jacked.


I pass the red furry Jesus
And the effeminate candle Jesus.
Kitsch Jesus just isn't my style
I need something more reliable
A Jesus with a money back guarantee.
And it better be in writing
Right on the box.

There is always the create-your-own-Jesus kit.
But I like my Jesus batteries included
No assembly required.
It just doesn’t seem like
They make Jesus like they used to
Maybe I'll just wait till my birthday
My wife always buys me Jesus.

It just never feels good
Walking into a store
And not buying anything.
Maybe I'll pick up some gummy Jesus
You know, for the kids.
I'll see what type of impulse Jesus
they have by the cash register.

3 comments:

timsamoff said...

That's great!

Ashley said...

What type of Jesus do your friends buy you? If I bought you a Jesus it would be one that liked to work out... you know an athletic Jesus... come to think of it.. i bet He was very athletic.

Dane Ryan Casey said...

he had to be athletic somewhat right? cause the man had to freakn' walk practically every where he went! billy! how are you this week my friend? did you have some good man time with josh, nick, and nate? wish i could of been there! oh well! all is well here. i could always use some good prayer action though! much love!
dane!