Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Diary of a Dromedary

Dromedaries don't like camels.
They like Zydeco
And newsboy hats
They wear them on their one hump
As a sign of peace

Camels hate Dromedaries
They like yogurt
And mustached men
Like Bert Reynolds
And Steve Harvey

There is an unspoken agreement between Camels and Dromedaries
They can have yogurt and mustaches on men
And we can have newsboy hats and Zydeco
As long as they keep their extra hump to themselves
And don't flaunt it around like a loose woman

If you put a dromedary in a camels college writing class
He would shit a brick
And throw it at the teacher
Who is probably a two humped tramp
With a mustache

If you took a camel to a dromedary demolition derby
He would die of dehumping
As the demolition derby dromedaries
Rip off his pretentious protrusion
While wearing their symbolically peaceful newsboy hats

My heart breaks for my fellow beasts of burden
War is the scourge of a segregated society
Terrorism is the natural outcome of our circumstances
Violence is born out of class distinction
Racism will be the death of the desert.


Daniel said...


If that camel only knew! I wonder if his college writing class taught him to put puzzles together. I hear that Dromedaries are world class puzzle solvers, not only that, but they like coloring pitctures. I like pictures. I bet if Horse saw either, he would say that they both are pretentious, no matter how many humps.

Daniel said...

My rhymes like an oompha-loompa throwing a fit

got more than Chompsky chomping on this bit

I got more tits than an octopus nursing

Thrilling rhymes on ink spilling from hearses


josh said...

hey man that was actually really deep. i had to look up Zydeco
and dromedarie, but then i got it. you should submitt some of your stuff to someone sometime.

Billy Brame said...

Yeah My wife told me what a dromedary was and I couldn't get it out of my head. I just like the way the word sounds. I had to look it up too to make sure I was using it right.

Daniel said...

How come you never e-mailed me back, bro?

Check out www.xanga.com/haroldreguard

Stewart and I write back and forth on it. We are currently writing a story, just for grins.

josh said...

so are you ever going to write on this thing again? or is it the new red-headed step child of your life?