Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Occasionally I stray away from coherent thoughts on this page. Today will be different. Today will be like Ice Cream cones made of Ice Cream. Today will be like Nazi calculus all the calculations with none of the hairdos. Today will be like a pantomime of the Mexican American war. Today will be like popcorn-balls-in-a-gym-sock slingshots. Today will be like a clothes hamper with the fashion savvy of a non-gay Whoopi Goldberg. Today will be like a riddle with no middle. Today will be like ham hocks that call each other by their surnames. Today will be about the same as a chicken wire piggy bank that can swim. Today will remind some of the forgotten holiday of Tognoblit where the traditional wafer was partaken of before its being forgotten except for those who still remember but don't do anything about it like write to the greeting card companies to make them declare it a national something so we can all get of work and be with our best of kin and partake of the traditional yet delicious wafer and sing carols and debate the existence of the Tognoblit Tyrannosaurus who comes down chimneys and dyes eggs into heart shaped cookies and lights fireworks on the kitchen table disturbing the punch bowl but cooking the traditional wafer just the way it was traditionally prepared before they started to buy them in bulk from the guy who is making a fortune selling the unleavened bread to the Jews at Passover and the bits of soon to be Jesus's to the Catholic diocese where transubstantiation is more of a back burner doctrine than a church splitting 95 theses kind of thing. Yes that will be today. Oh what a glorious day.