I came across a poet that I find totally awesome today while pretentiously reading The New Yorker online. He is perfectly weird: exquisitely eccentric and intelligently silly. And apparently he happens to teach at Columbia College Chicago. If you like it check out 5 more of his poems.

Alien vs. Predator

by Michael Robbins January 12, 2009 issue of The New Yorker

Praise this world, Rilke says, the jerk.
We’d stay up all night. Every angel’s
berserk. Hell, if you slit monkeys
for a living, you’d pray to me, too.
I’m not so forgiving. I’m rubber, you’re glue.

That elk is such a dick. He’s a space tree
making a ski and a little foam chiropractor.
I set the controls, I pioneer
the seeding of the ionosphere.
I translate the Bible into velociraptor.

In front of Best Buy, the Tibetans are released,
but where’s the whale on stilts that we were promised?
I fight the comets, lick the moon,
pave its lonely streets.
The sandhill cranes make brains look easy.

I go by many names: Buju Banton,
Camel Light, the New York Times.
Point being, rickshaws in Scranton.
I have few legs. I sleep on meat.
I’d eat your bra—point being—in a heartbeat.

I freaking love the line "I translate the Bible into velociraptor." Man I wish I could have taken some poetry while I was wasting all that money on a theater degree.