Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Karl Marx and Adam Smith at a Carnival

Karl Marx wears linen pants

Adam Smith wears a sash

Both men wear moccasins

Because everyone likes moccasins


Karl Marx eats cotton candy

Adam Smith eats a candied apple on a stick

They share a funnel cake

Because everyone loves  funnel cake


Karl Marx rides the carousel

Adam Smith rides the roller coaster

They both giggle as they rock their cart on the Ferris Wheel

Because everyone loves the Ferris Wheel


Karl Marx pays to kiss the bearded lady

Adam Smith pays to arm wrestle the strong man

They both sneak into the Siamese twin exhibit

Because everyone knows Siamese twins are just two liars taped together


Karl Marx plays Duck Pond 

Adam Smith tries to knock down bottles

They both want to win the giant stuffed Panda

Because everyone wants a giant stuffed Panda


Karl Marx picks the wrong duck

Adam Smith misses all three bottles

They both lose

Because everyone loses at carnival games


Karl Marx uses the Johnny-On-The-Spot

Adam Smith vomits on a pigeon

Both men smile

Because everyone loves the carnival

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The Monk and the Mathematician

INT. DARK ROOM 

Two pail faced men sit nose to nose

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen?

MONK

He is Risen Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

No. Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

There is a difference?

MONK

In general.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

Yes, in fact. In this particular instance there is indeed difference. With regard to the particular nature of my prior claim, the answer is no in fact not. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Why not in fact?

MONK

In general “Indeed” is in fact similar to “In fact” but this instance is unique. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Insane?

MONK

One could argue that.

MATHEMATICIAN

Inane? Ingenious?

MONK

Those points as well could be made . . . Is that your argument then?

MATHEMATICIAN

No arguments just questions.

MONK

Impossible.  They're inseparable.

MATHEMATICIAN

In Him all things are possible.

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In fact?

MONK

Indirectly, we'll say. Can we return to the question of insanity?

MATHEMATICIAN

Very well. He is Risen Insane?

MONK

Arguably.

MATHEMATICIAN

You agree then. The point is conceded.

MONK

Now you are being incorrigible.  I concede nothing. Nor do I argue a point. I’m in between. 

MATHEMATICIAN

Are you indifferent? That is insane indeed.

MONK

Facts are insane.

MATHEMATICIAN

Very well. He is Risen Engrave.

MONK

Incoherent is not insanity.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen Indianapolis. 

MONK

He is Risen inconclusive.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen indubitably. 

MONK.

He is Risen internal.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Risen Inconsequently.

MONK.

False.

MATHEMATICIAN 

One could say the same of your claim.

MONK

One doesn't.  Unless you are the one claiming such.

MATHEMATICIAN

Indeed I am.

MONK

In fact?

MATHEMATICIAN

As a matter of fact I am indeed.

Both men stand

MONK

Outrageous!

MATHEMATICIAN

Out of the mouth of babes!

MONK

Out of control!!

MATHEMATICIAN

One king’s outhouse is another man’s throne!!

MONK 

Out Out damned spot!!

MATHEMATICIAN

Out where???

MONK

Out of this world!!!!

MATHEMATICIAN

Shall we take this outside then?

MONK

No. In. We must remain inside.

MATHEMATICIAN

Oh.

Both men sit in silence.

MONK 

I owe you an apology.

MATHEMATICIAN

I accept and reciprocate.

MONK

Indeed. He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

That seems to be in question.

MONK

In fact it is. Indeed it is not.

MATHEMATICIAN

I see. I’m blind?

MONK

I know. I once was.

MATHEMATICIAN

I can’t see?

MONK

Neither could I once.  And still things blur.

MATHEMATICIAN

Should we find the light?

MONK

He is Risen Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

But not in fact.

MONK

The facts are indecipherable.

MATHEMATICIAN

The facts are all we have. 

MONK

We have no such thing. I once was nothing but He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

Where does that leave us? In? Out?

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

Inside out?

MONK

Indeed.

MATHEMATICIAN

In spite of myself., I crave that blur. All things must be possible, as they say.  Within?

MONK

He is Risen.

MATHEMATICIAN

He is Ris-in Indeed?

Blackout.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Check out some sweet art this Friday at the Walnut Gallery @ 18th and Walnut.


There will be an eclectic mix of mediums including photography, sculpture, painting and a custom built motorcycle.


I'll be performing a piece of silliness that I conceived for my friend Andrea Brummett's Gallery called The Diction Canary from 6-9, so if your are down there check us out. Bring your favorite words and tongue twisters and have the Diction Canary orate them.



Here is the back-story blurb:

The Diction Canary is a rare bird from the Amazon jungle that was captured by a British-explorer-orator-philosopher-linguist married couple. Having a natural affinity for ridiculous sounds he quickly picked up their cockney accent. He participated alongside the family in their favorite pastime, word puppetry.

Word Pup•pet•ry
n : The act of word manipulation and oral definition

The bird made words dance like marionettes attached to a giant canary. Ask him to speak any tongue-twister or define any English word from his exhaustive Merriam-Webster’s and he will floor you with his phraseology and astound you with his articulate elocution.